Legacy…

Sometimes I feel so debilitated that I am stuck in the same spot,
Watching people pass me by,
Effortlessly,
They’ve hit the jackpot,
I try to walk, swim, run or fly,
But cannot,
I wonder why,
As they drift further and further,
They shine brighter and brighter,
As I stand nighy,
They all leave as I am stuck and stay,
It seems to them I merely fade away.
I am full to the brim with love,
Empathy,
And compassion,
Ideas of creativity,
Fall endlessly from me,
But ultimately amount to nothing,
Because I’m stuck,
After too frequently being pulled apart and ripped,
My fragile heart,
The cruelty in this world,
For it I’m not equipped.
I can’t be a travelling star,
Follow my loved ones wherever they are,
Oblivious with innocence they leave me behind,
Each leaving lacerations that scar,
So bright to the eye I can see them all,
Near or far,
Travelling at great speed of light,
The science doesn’t spark or work if you are stood still,
Weighted with being ill.
“Just Move”,
You say,
Because you don’t see the force around me,
The cause of my fragility,
Ill mental health holds me in captivity,
A fooling powerful force cloaked with invisibility,
Holding firmly to the key,
Of any possibility that I may be set free,
And share the phenomenal me that I know I could be,
Yet it knows and relishes that the world will never see.
Perhaps invisaging my art as powerful and healing is delusional,
My twisted tongue of metaphor,
Is not transparent enough to be relatable,
Or even palatable,
Because I’ve been sharing for a while now,
And no one seems to hear me clearly,
But the words keep coming,
So I gots to keep regurgitating,
I may not shine in this lifetime,
But the way my pain turns into verse,
Chorus and rhyme,
Has to connect somehow with this universe,
A blessing or a curse,
This misery,
Perhaps will be understood in time unknown to me,
And left in legacy.