Not your average patient…

Read between the lines,
This does not mean judge.
Listen,
Don’t preempt.
See me,
Not my medical records.
Articulation and intelligence are not inaccessible due to mental illness,
Mental health does not diminish integrity,
Trauma does,
Not only the impact before you get out your pen and paper,
Flick through the pages of text from psychiatry books that remain in your mind from years ago,
And have not been updated nor refreshed,
But your stigma,
Makes me ill,
Your lack of seeing me,
Makes me cry,
You are not a shoulder nor a rock that I can lean upon,
Or rely,
So I continue to suffer,
But I hold back and lie,
Because I don’t want to frequent your units,
Have you in and out of my house,
I’d rather get a blade out,
Suffer in silence,
Bleed out,
Not utter a word of it and cover up when you are scheduled to reach out.
Mental health system,
You never fail to disappoint.
My silence says much more than you realise.
My words rattle your cage,
You cannot process when I protest.
If my knowledge exceeds yours,
You switch to flight,
Say oh she’s not ill,
She’s alright.
I’m complex,
But this is not a test,
And should not be a fight,
I am more than your ignorance and outdated opinion,
I’m the one that may slip away in the night.
This is more than 9-5,
This is my fucking life!

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