From Noya

My latest piece of art, as usual started with pen to paper and has since manifested into this wonderful collaborative collage of movement, live music, poetry/drama/spoken word. My company of creative artists with a variety of talents, blend percussion, guitar, movement and song with my honest story telling. This style of spoken word is unique. I haven’t really seen this kind of combination before and have thoroughly enjoyed bringing it to life with my company. Mia Depper is an actress, poet, artist and belly dancer. Kate Wilkins is a musical composer, percussionist, pianist, singer and literacy editor. Debbie Aldous is a mindfulness specialist, the founder of a mental health app and event organiser. David Rees-Jones is a percussionist, commedian and actor. I used to be a professional actor but since my breakdown, I mostly practice poetry, blogging, song writing, singing, creative writing and commit to raising mental health awareness in any which way that I can. Helping others is so very rewarding and second nature to me, much easier then helping myself!
Today I had the pleasure of performing as No One And Company, sharing “Spoken With Words That Are Nothing But True”. I had to introduce myself beforehand, you would think talking about yourself would be the easiest topic in the world but if you are sharing your deepest darkest secrets and your experiences of unhappiness, depression and your struggles in life, it is not easy to convey those issues without wearing your heart on your sleeve and becoming somewhat emotional. Afterwards our performance went very well. They then showed the premier screening of Noya, a film about mental health, family, insecurities, acceptance, remorse and regret. The overall message being that bottling up your struggles only distances you from help and support, communication can open you up enough to confide your woes in someone. It was a wonderful story and portrayed excellently. Last but not least, a panel of individuals related to mental health, both personally and professionally, took to the stage for a Q&A with the audience.
Discussing mental health and communicating seems to be popular at the moment. Celebrities, popular mental health charities, film and documentary industries and the news are all discussing communicating when mentally unwell.
This evening, after the event, talking to the audience, feeling proud and ready to celebrate, I have come home rather depressed. My psychosis has been triggered and has left me in distress.I feel like I may have overshared and exposed to much but all is done now. Feeling unbalanced, I decided to take the popular advice and speak to a trained professional about my feelings, self doubt and neglect. I have phoned The Samaritans twice in the last hour and an automated response has informed me that all of the lines were busy. If in a worse place, I would try home treatment after hours but that is not available to anyone. It is somehow to late for 111 or 101, I always forget which is medical and which is for the police. 999 would not really be able to help me in this state, I am having thoughts but don’t feel like it would be worthwhile calling them if I hadn’t taken any self distructive action, which I haven’t. So I have cried, over analysed and have now taken to writing to process how I am feeling, to report the reality of how difficult reaching out to communicate can be, not just from a trust or emotional point of view but because of knowledge and accessibility. An awful lot of need for help due to mental health problems and issues occur out of office hours and there is not enough support out there. I know for a fact that as little as two members of staff have been on duty of out of hours and been allocated and expected to look after the whole of Birmingham. That is ridiculous. We need more staff, help and support but the NHS Mental Health budget cuts keep increasing, the affect being an increase on suicide and crime, fuel for stigma and taboo’.
Knowledge is power and understanding is the best way towards positive change.
The focus does not have to be on vulnerable people opening up and communicating, this can be a long and painful process that won’t happen over night. Communicating with the world, inspires us to acknowledge and understand, accept and build a foundation of understanding, room to grow, accept and understand.
Please help me fundraise for, “just giving Jade Laurie-Hart Hart and come to m
I have tired myself out now… I will go to sleep. Night x

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