Love!

Watching TV, seeing all of this freestyle spoken word got me thinking, I want to do that, give people substanance to chat. So challenging myself, I decided to freestyle. This clip came from the top of my head, No preparation, planning or pen to paper, no filter, nor fancy editting… if i did, i would have said inequality, I would have said racism over weighs love, hate over weighs love, vanity over weighs love… please share the love and check it out!? Xx
Please keep supporting me by sharing my posts, blogs, poetry and new chat show, “No One’s Lounge”. Follow, subscribe and feel free to contact me ‘re. Any mental health questions. I am just a self appointed mental health advocate, but sometimes you have to have lived, physically seen or experienced something, to get a genuine non bias foundation of knowledge. Chances are, I have seen it or experienced it first hand, when it comes to mental health, there for I have a huge amount of empathy. You shall not be judged by me. You will not be dismissed by me. I am No One, I represent everyone.
I believe that a fragment of inspiration for this piece transpired from the lyrics of the great, unfortunately late, “Amy Winehouse, love is a loosing game”. Sometimes life and unfortunate ailments and circumstances, stand between individuals and finding true Love, but to know it and taste it, like addictive poison, we forever seek more of it, but sometimes it cannot be found! Well you found it here… sending huge love out to You!
www.adiaryfromnoone.co.uk
YouTube channel noone adiaryfromnoone

Be mindful of what you do and don’t say…

They say,
“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words and names will never hurt you!”
Yet for me this is untrue,
And there should be no shame in admitting it,
If it is also truly untrue for you too.
When freedom of speech may be tainted and scorn.
Words fired at me with cruel intent,
Scorch me like a dragons flame,
Words unsaid leave me puzzled,
My tortured brain in overdrive whilst trapped in a maze of weighted silence,
And words shot from ignorance,
Are like a sharp and forceful stab in my back.
Words are underrated,
And name calling is cruel,
Together,
Or equally strong alone,
Powerful,
Meaningful tools,
The zest of language,
And communication,
When used with bitter content,
They may not break bones,
But they can and indeed do break hearts beyond repair!

For The Non Readers…

If you don’t particularly like reading, I have something special for you!
If you believe in raising awareness for mental health, I have something special for you!
If you like poetry and spoken word, I have something special for you!
My new YouTube channel captivates my artistic expression from an audio perspective. The old skool “BLOG” competitions with the new skool “VLOG” (video blog)Check mine out and share it about please…
Step 1. Go onto YouTube
Step 2. Search adiaryfromnoone (as written)
Step 3. Watch my first four vlogs
Step 5. Share my videos
Step 6. Subscribe and visit at your leisure

May the sun keep shining a little longer,

No One xx

Fatty McFatty

I have gotten fat again,
So I am eating crap again!
Why is this lesson so hard to learn?
I prefer the blurred lines,
Distorted vision,
An inaccurate mosaique of darkness and reds,
When I cultivate and project the demons from inside my head.
My eyes long to see the girl that I was,
Not the creature that I have become,
Solid,
Chunky,
Fat, Fat, Fat,
Disgusting round and large,
A full figure that I cannot camouflage.
The tablets that I take,
Encourage and provoke weight gain,
Blow up your frame,
And change peoples perceptions of you.
Someone I know once said that I look like Precious (Gabourey Sidibe),
A ridiculous notion,
I was a size twelve at the time,
Always curvey,
But proud.
Now that statement forever haunts me,
As I fill out in all the wrong places,
Get heavier,
Feel heavier,
My paranoia is conformed as I see horror in peoples faces,
They think it true,
That I do,
look like precious,
And now I feel,
that I do.
The actress I speak of is content with her weight,
She says she is happy,
She works it,
She is living the dream,
Her size works for her.
I don’t mean to hate but I honestly do despise her now,
Because when I look into the mirror,
I see her,
I hate her,
She is not who I want to see or be!
She is not me,
And I am sure she wouldn’t want to be.
A skinny girl in a fat chicks body,
I worry about bullies and my health.
If you can own it,
Like and accept it,
Work it!
I dream of anorexia,
I wretch after I eat,
Wishing for one step further,
But cannot,
And so from bulimia I retreat.
I hide from the camera,
The stage,
The spotlights.
I don’t want to be called bubbly,
To be told that I have more to love.
I want to wear my old clothes,
To languish in vanity.
I diet,
I exercise,
No matter what I do,
Thirteen to sixteen tablets a day will have this effect on you.
I am short, crazy and fat,
If you’ll accept me for that,
Maybe I could handle that,
Think more about my health and wellbeing,
Then achieving and being a size “0”,
Which I have never been.
Please take everything into consideration and don’t be mean,
I inflict enough pain on to myself,
Without you adding to the mix.
Words do hurt,
The audible ones that you throw at me with received pronunciation,
Even the looks that you throw at me with silent communication.
Just leave me be.
You provoke frustration by inflicting intimidation.
Where your motivation comes from I do not know,
But your torture won’t make me thin so,
Come forth with love,
Or take a step back,
My physicality does not effect your reality,
And if I was well,
I think we would need to assess your mentality,
Not mine!