BPD

I feel very much on the border today,
Sanity verses Insanity,
Battling to keep up with humanity,
Desiring being a deity,
Fraustration triggering profanity,
I am just really struggling with being me,
Wholesome and free,
Struggling with the idea that I could have been anything that I wanted to be,
When fully engulfing BPD stole everything and my personality,
Placing me in a future that no one could forsee,
Taking me off track and putting me in an entirely different category.

No Picture’s Please!

When you look into the mirror,
What do you see?
When you look at a photograph of yourself,
What do you see?
When you take a selfie,
What do you see?
Beauty?
Potential?
Are you happy to let these picture roam free,
Travelling from the camera,
To a photo album,
Or on the internet for all to see,
Instagram,
Facebook,
Filter,
Tag,
Transported to a world of technology,
Where it will stay for eternity,
Become part of your history.
Bad angle?
Swipe and delete,
Rip it up,
Scratch it out,
Deny the tag,
Erase it,
Burn it.
Do you care what other people see?
Does analysing how you look equate to vanity?
Is worrying about it a profanity?
You may see something in me that I don’t see,
My personality may disguise it,
But I don’t want you to look at me,
Out of fear that you may see what I see,
And like me,
Have it etched into your memory for eternity.
You need not discuss,
Comment,
Insinuate,
Mock,
Or ridicule me,
By saying that when you look at me,
You see beauty!
I know what I am,
And beautiful I am not.
When I look in the mirror,
See your photographs of me,
Take a selfie,
I see blurred lines,
Mismatched shapes,
Flaws,
Dents,
Blemishes,
Fat,
That amalgamates into a vision of ugliness and nightmare’s,
Leaving a taste of bitterness.
I hate myself.
I must confess.
To top all of my personal insecurities,
We live in a world where self image is priceless,
And that makes me feel even more worthless.
Beauty is within the eye’s of the beholder,
I have eye’s,
But see no beauty.
Be it a curse,
Or bad luck,
This card was dealt to me,
I don’t ask for your sympathy,
Just please,
Don’t take pictures of me.

Shallow Hal

“What would you prefer, a girl/guy with half a breast or half a brain?” (Modified for gender reasons)