A Diary From Noone

She spoke but no one heard, every scream seemed a whisper, and so she took pen to paper...

Tag: #stigma

Shells Of Egg…

In a tangled web,
With shells of egg,
I fear where exactly I should tread,
Unbalanced from clouded dread,
Struggling to interpret the silence of forbidden hushed words unsaid.

Please check out No One’s Lounge, a sparkling and brand new mental health chat show, via my YouTube channel noone adiaryfromnoone created by yours truly. In order to embrace and fully understand mental illness, we must open up, talk and learn from one another, knowledge is power!!! Let’s disregard the stigma attached to the taboo subject of mental health…

noone adiaryfromnoone

My birth name is Jade Phipps, but as a self appointed mental health awareness advocate I go by the name, “No One”. No One stands for no one in particular, there for anyone and everyone. I represent and reach out to the people.
I personally suffer from, “Borderline Personality Disorder, type Impulsive” which for me includes, depression, anxiety, mania, dissociation and psychosis. I am managed by my community mental health team, I see my Community Psychiatric Nurse fortnightly and my Support Worker once a week. I was diagnosed after having a breakdown. I have always suffered from depression and was diagnosed with it at the age of sixteen but since my latest diagnosis, I subsequently found out that it was expected that I had BPD back then in 2000, but this information was not shared with me until being institutionalised in 2013.
I have been in and out of hospital at least once a year since then, always voluntary, but my last admittance in 2017 was initially under a section 2 for 28 days, which was completed, I then voluntarily stayed a further 2 months.
I am a very creative person by nature and discovered writing poetry whilst being considerably unwell and in and out of hospital. My website, “www.adiaryfromnoone.co.uk” is a result of this. It basically includes my whole life story thus far and is added to whilst I remain on this journey. I have great support and followers that enjoy my writing, I always alert and shoutout when I put new stuff up, via my Facebook page or Twitter (noone adiaryfromnoone). Intrigue has allowed the curious and those of which identify to accompany me on this current path. It has bought great attention to my door, I have featured on BBC national news, BBC WM radio and a London based radio show called, “The Real Deal”. All outlets sourced me from discovering my website!
Reading is not for everybody and I want to reach as many people as possible and so I decided that I needed and wanted a different outlet, this gave birth to, “No One’s Lounge”! A new chat show with the focal point of mental health. Each episode consists of a panel and creative guest. Think “Loose Women”/”BBC Live Lounge”. I did a Christmas Pilot trailer… https://youtu.be/SOYO6Q8pg3Q and full length… https://youtu.be/4mC_l48Ixkc and then a trailer for what will hopefully be a ten episode season this 2018…https://youtu.be/CP7sBZpf7mU and season 1, episode 1 in full… https://youtu.be/5f3DEY1GXUg
My work and this new project have already sparked interest off BBC Radio 4.
Society needs to be made more aware of what mental health really is. We need a decrease in stigma and increase in knowledge. I do not fault the people who have tainted views of what ill mental health is, because unless you go looking for it, or personally experience it, the main sources of information out there are overwhelming, misrepresented, creating stigma and encouraging ignorance. I want to filter and leak information and experiences from real people, to and for real peoole, made obtainable to everyone. Knowledge is power. Communication and honesty equals power. This chat show features real people, who have had real life mental health experiences, it is the pinicle of reality. A touch of music or poetry is just a nice touch of alternative communication.
In my opinion, the majority of people don’t really know about mental health until they personally or their loved ones/colleagues/associates get unwell. Everyone is susceptible to ill mental health, there for everyone should have some sort of realistic understanding of what it is and/or can be, just as a safe guard. The topic should be accurate common Knowledge, and who better to learn from then the people who have experienced it themselves!?
My dream is big, I cannot reach the entire nation alone but with the help of others, by coming on my show, scattering it across social media, watching, sharing, talking about and subscribing, my message of hope, shameless communication, empowerment and understanding may reach further a shore.
In the meantime I am personally fighting to stay afloat every single day. Exhausted by accelerated mood swings, causing chronic lethargy, it is hard to fight and keep motivated but the bigger picture goes way beyond I, my fight is for the people because I am No One and noone represents everyone.
Check out anything noone adiaryfromnoone and please join me on this crusade of mental health awareness.

Being A Black, Thirt-Two Year Old Woman and Crazy…

After watching, “Being Black And Going Crazy” I have found myself, as a black woman with certified and diagnosed mental health problems, reflecting upon the show and my own personal experiences.
I have been an inpatient at various mental health hospitals in both Birmingham and London over the last three years and cannot say that the ratio of Black patients, White patients, Asian patients and any “Other” patients has dominated more than each other, it has always been pretty equal. Regardless to the culture in which the area of the hospital is situated, because with the huge NHS Mental Health budget crisis, there are often national shortages of beds and so you end up where you end up, regardless of where you come from or which mental health hospital is closer to your home logistically.
I have always tried to accept help when it has been offered, when a psychiatric team suggest you go into hospital, you know it is both serious and important because it is not an easy decision to make or accommodate. If you refuse to comply, you may very well get sectioned and so do always try to accept the help when it is offered, as it is hard to come by.
The only difficulty that I have found as a black woman, is the patronising, inappropriate chat off the ward nurses of African or Caribbean descent. Although I believe that these members of staff were just trying to help, trying to show empathy but they approached me in the wrong way and gave some terrible, unprofessional and uncalled for advice. “Listen my sister, where in Africa are you from? You have a nice skin tone. What do you have to be depressed about? Do you think you are the only one who has had a hard life sister!? You will end up getting diagnosed if you don’t stop. Just pray to God and he will guide you sister.”
Excuse me! Firstly, I am not your sister! Secondly, I am not from Africa! Who cares what skin tone I have!? I don’t know all the reasons and why I am depressed. I most definitely know that life is and can be hard on everyone, not just me! Stop what!? Surely a diagnosis will lead to some kind of understanding, provide some answers!? Pray to God!? I did not disclose that I am religious!
The assumptions’ that these ladies made, the way they spoke to me, what they said to me, it was all because I was a black patient.
Each time I have been admitted into hospital has been because of troubles with my mentality, some of those problems were caused by genetics, both nature and nurture, but not because of the colour of my skin and whether the nurses had good intentions or not, I believe that their approach was unprofessional! I never witnessed them talk to any other people (not of colour) in the same way! I did see them approach fellow black patients.
Every patient, no matter what colour of their skin, their age, gender, sexuality, religious beliefs, diagnosis, they all deserve equal treatment.
“If you would treat the black man like you treat the white man , carry on man! Peace and Love”
“I am a black, thirty-two year old woman with various mental health problems.” Joe Blogs can home in on any part of that information but from the mind of a mental health professional, all they should hear is,”mental health problems”. Ethnicity, age and gender should come second.

A Festival From No One, the first!

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