Small Wedding

When celebrities talk about ill mental health,
The whole world becomes intrigued about that someones wellbeing,
Not knowing how much closer to home someone may be suffering,
That they aren’t hearing or seeing.
Judging family and friends,
But sympathising with celebrities.
It makes no sense to me.
These same very people profess their innocence,
Rather than admitting to administrated distance,
They put between themselves and the mentally ill,
Exhibiting ignorance,
Not there day to day,
But just for the thrill.
“I never knew”,
They say!
“I should have done more”,
They say!
Whilst expecting you to just wish your mental illness away.
Like you have full control for it to go or stay.
As adiaryfromnoone I express myself very clear,
Determined to help anyone and everyone out there,
But Jade is insecure,
Jade is sick in hospital,
I don’t want to be,
I don’t like nor wish to be,
Just to be clear,
My anxiety is sky high,
I am all alone,
Psychosis is rife,
And it is hard to handle all this pain and strife.
Friends online plenty galore,
But in real life,
I have learnt not many at all!
I’m ok with my little family,
But have taken note at just how quick people have forgotten me,
And should I ever pass away early,
It will be those same absent people championng me.
I am here in hospital for ill physical health,
But everything is connected.
5 days in,
Much has been noted and reflected.
I know there is a pandemic but I feel somewhat disposable and unaccepted.
Then the BPD cycle begins as I feel misunderstood,
Unheard,
Abandoned,
And rejected,
I’ll happily delete plenty from the wedding list now,
So it wont be so expensive!