Not An Opportunity To Brand…

There’s a reason why I don’t watch the news,
There’s no room left on my body to bruise,
Pain and tragedy are my poetic muse,
And my heads already full,
I long for a break,
Someone to cut the fuse,
But I’m weighed down with heartache,
Longing for a retake,
Because for so long now society has played the same tape,
Never learning or owning upto their mistakes.
It has taken me a lifetime to waft away the haze,
Strip the glaze,
And truely see,
How society sees my reflection,
And why I have never reached perfection.
The odds have never been in my favour,
I was blind,
I was deaf,
I was dumb,
As to where all the hate,
Rejection,
And poor self reflection spawned from,
But now I see very clearly.
I don’t need your validation,
To feel like a valid creation.
Yet I am not deluded,
No longer musguided by secure ignorance,
My messages,
My stories,
Need hearing ears to fall upon,
No more suffering in silence,
That won’t stop the hate,
Stop the prejudice,
Stop the racism,
Scrutiny,
Murder,
Exile,
Violence,
Suicide,
Inherited opression,
Depression,
Injustice.
I don’t want to play hide and seek,
I am not a prisoner for you to keep,
Nor treasure for you to reap.
I am a human of colour,
I just wish to be seen,
Not judged,
Heard,
Not silenced,
Chances a new,
Not second hand,
To be seen as an individual,
Not an opportunity to brand.

adiaryfromnoone declares you have nothing to prove…

Started off as a dream,
So possible and real it tasted,
I devoured that cream.
Manifested into a nightmare,
A brutal scare,
My thrown now a rusty chair,
My crown,
Now made of thorns,
Slicing my scalp and cutting my hair.
Prayers silenced,
Praise scorned.
All this pain and suffering,
Viscously corrupting,
Emerged so abruptly,
As I lost everything,
Relentless and unsubtley,
Never saw it coming,
Never heard a sound,
Just all of a sudden I couldn’t cope being around,
Not long term,
Short term,
Day by day,
I wanted to permanently disappear,
One way,
To go away,
And I tried so hard,
A number of times,
But the Lord never took me,
Perhaps punishing me for my crimes,
Equality is not what it seems,
Poverty,
Racial disparity,
A black child dared to dream,
Nightmares a reality,
Made me feel unclean,
Unworthy,
Undeserved,
Untalented,
I then understood the world I live in,
Why I never made the final cut,
Got the guy,
Got the part,
Never had good luck,
But I,
Got bullied,
Ridiculed,
Rejected,
As injustice has found me over and over again,
I cannot remember now,
The last time when,
I felt entitled to dream,
And able to start again!
Perhaps in another life,
A reincarnation,
Unless a higher being pardons me,
Grants access to fair accessibility,
Maybe I will reach that destiny,
Eventually,
The greatest achievements,
They never come easily,
A blackbelt in combat,
Battling all things bad,
All things sad,
Maybe one day I’ll make Mumma glad that she had me,
Make her proud,
Maybe the end of my story wont be so bad,
I’ll amount to something,
Use my pain and suffering,
To help others when they get angry and mad,
When their tears keep pouring and they can’t shake the sad,
When they make poor choices and do something bad,
adiaryfromnoone won’t judge,
adiaryfromnoone does not exclude,
adiaryfromnoone declares you have nothing to proove.
You are good enough,
There is no spell,
Nor magic pill,
But with patience and skill,
You can do better,
I believe you will.
I am no Messiah,
Miracle maker,
I have my limits too,
But self belief,
And the blessing of another,
Is a secret super power,
To clear the self hate and clutter,
Making room to get better,
Together.