On My Own…

Sat home alone,
I cannot focus,
On anything but the bloody ticking tock,
Of my painfully loud clock.
Relentlessly kept anchored in the present,
I fester,
As I am a prisoner,
A slave captured by time,
Unable to hence forth,
Or recline,
Just stuck,
And endlessly out of luck.
What are the chances?
What did I do?
I would repent if I knew.
All I want is to love,
And be loved,
Like everyone else around me,
They make it look so easy,
And I welcome it with open arms,
But there is no love for me.
I can no longer depend on hope,
Delude myself that we are all deserved,
Of love,
And may receive it.
I have been looking,
Loudly,
Openly,
Scouting,
Foraging,
Wishing,
And wanting,
But just keep on,
Getting rejected,
Left and abandoned,
Falling,
Longing,
And failing,
I am worn out,
And I am torn.
How else can I take this but personally,
Now thirty-three,
Believe me,
I have sailed into the great unknown,
Searching for a lover to call mine own,
But it seems that love is not part of my destiny,
It turns out that there isn’t enough love for everybody,
And two shall not always become one,
We don’t all get that special someone,
To hold up and lean upon.
I must sink,
And sink alone,
But for all my writing in ink,
That shall follow me as I drown,
Like a dog to a bone,
My only companion,
As in the same pattern,
I shall leave this life alone,
Just as I came into it,
On my own.

Valentines…

Happy Valentines everyone, read or scroll and listen, the choice is yours xx

For those that are single,
Valentines can be rather sad,
Looking at all the loved up couples can drive you kind of mad.
February the fourteenth is a date we all know,
There is no hiding from it as it parades on Billboards and all of the adverts between your favourite Television show.
Dining for two,
Special offers for two,
Nothing for one,
Banishing singles loud and proud,
On this special day if you are not a two,
You are not worthy,
You have been forgotten,
Brutally branded a,
“No One”!
Love and romance sadly isn’t constantly obtainable for everyone,
But shed a tear not,
You may still find that special someone.
In the mean time don’t be bitter,
Fight for love,
Don’t be a quitter.
Project onto those what you hope to receive,
All of that love may help you achieve,
In finding someone,
The one,
Your one,
Forever more.
To some love comes easy,
Others must wait,
But you have to make an effort,
Not just rely on fate.
Love can be contained,
Love can be grand.
Even the strongest of hearts can break when placed in the wrong hands,
But they also mend.
You don’t find real love,
Open your heart,
And it will find you.
Hold on!
It may not be perfect,
It may not be smooth,
Seem like a test to begin with,
Something to prove,
But give it some time,
Get into the groove.
Love is not a game,
Not the same for everyone.
It’s not chocolate, champagne, teddy bears and diamond rings,
It’s passion,
Fire,
And desire.
For all of the single people out there,
Your day will come,
And two shall,
Become one.

Heart, The Tin Woman…

They say that home is where the heart is,
If I have no heart,
I would therefor have no home.
Yet the heart is a compulsory mechanism,
It controls the entire body,
Without it we would not function,
It pumps
And pumps,
And pumps,
And pumps,
From the moment we are conceived,
To the moment we die.
Situated beneath our chests,
The only physical place a literal heart can be,
But mine resides on my sleeves,
not metaphorically,
But literally,
Beyond any possibility.
Exposed,
Unprotected,
Fragile,
And out of sync.
It defies Biology,
Physics,
And chemistry.
With this theory in mind,
Perhaps I cannot call it a heart,
Knowing where it is logistically.
Perhaps I am just different,
But I must accept,
That it is what it is,
A little complicated.
I am unable to love myself,
Which suggests I have no heart,
Unable to find my home,
Which suggests I have no heart,
But I am beyond capable of loving you,
Which means I may have a heart after all.
Ignore the location of my silly heart,
Just embrace the love that I have for you,
Give to you,
Feel for you,
Share with you.
I am unable to function as one alone,
Desperate to love and be loved in return,
And whilst I clink and clank through my life,
Like “The Tin Man” from “The Wizard of Oz”,
Perhaps I will discover that I did indeed have a heart all along,
And my home is in each and every one of you.
I love you,
You and your whole and uncomplicated heart’s,
And you,
You are my home!

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