The shadows of grief are dark,
But let them not haunt the memorial of honour,
That houses the memories that you have been blessed to have known,
That anchoring pain of your bruised heart pangs,
From physical loss,
But you have not lost,
You have won,
Because you have loved,
You have known love,
You have been shown love,
And you have been loved,
Can take that away,
No gravely separation can keep it at bay,
Let your diamonds of love and light shine bright,
Like the brightest stars in the milky way.
You should have been there,
You should have noticed,
You should have helped me,
You should have saved me!
You could have asked,
You could have told me,
You could have had my help,
You could have been saved!
No you turned your back on me,
No you looked the other way,
No you didn’t listen,
No you didn’t help!
You put up a brick wall,
You looked fine,
You shut me out,
You didn’t ask!
I wish that we spoke,
I wish that I could have communicated with you,
I wish that I could feel that you cared,
I wish things ended differently!
Your pain did not translate,
Your suffering wasn’t clear,
You kept me at arms length,
Things could have ended differently!
Now I am gone!
Now you are gone!
Yet there is a lesson to be learnt here,
Which may lead to truly saving someone!
If you know someone who suffers from mental illness, checking in on them regularly could be a deal breaker. Feeling just an ounce of significance can save lives! Knowing you have someone to turn to can save lives. Feeling acknowledged can save lives. Knowing that support is available and warrented can and does save many lives. So be a sport, show some love and support, always be mindful that when people are mentally unwell, reassurance of security can be detrimental.
This following clip is of season 1, episode 2 of, “No One’s Lounge” my new mental health chat show via my YouTube channel noone adiaryfromnoone all about stigma and taboo. Please check it out and share it all about. Donations will assure more episodes to come, crowd funding throughout the year… only 7 more to go and halfway there to number 3 🤞🏾❤
A taste of sensuality,
Whilst we stampede along,
To the beat of life’s song,
As we pass the baton on,
Tracing the lines mapped out,
That we believe to be our destiny.
Beneath the concrete,
Our feet hover above,
We may forget,
But the deceased are down there,
We may not possess the knowledge of our fate,
But there is one guarantee,
One day we shall be the foundation,
Of which other feet will hover above,
Mortality is our fatality,
No matter what,
Forget this not!
Superiority is irrelevant,
And whilst life is a gift,
It is also a sentence,
Escape death we may not,
From our first breaths,
We begin to rot.
How is it possible,
To drift apart as far as we have?
The thought alone,
Makes me very sad!
Is it punishment?
A loss of effection?
This brutal wedge was not my intention.
My lack of perfection,
Has caused this rejection.
We weren’t two,
Now that bond has gone.
My illness has broken many things,
But the worst is loosing you,
My special someone,
And I fear that this is something that we cannot come back from.
Sat in Costa drinking my extra hot,
Please don’t think that I have forgot,
The way you smelt,
The way you dressed,
Ancient but smart (ish) trousers and an open shirt,
The way that you spoke,
An amalgamation of St Kitts and Birmingham,
Your telephone number,
How you would always call,
You were always there for me,
You only said it once,
But I know that you loved me unconditionally,
And I loved you too!
I still do….
I miss looking at you,
Talking to you,
Laughing with you,
But I still can feel you,
Whether you visit me in my dreams at night,
Or I feel your presence,
Sometimes when I don’t feel right,
Or within the breeze of the wind,
Or heat of the sunlight.
You are the brightest star shining at night,
If I could reach you,
I would hold onto you so tight,
I know that you aren’t physically here now,
But you have a special pocket in my heart,
And with this unique bond,
We will never part.
Amy was a fully grown Alsation,
But there is no salvation in her departure.
She had the qualities of a child,
A reflection of her upbringing,
Not just a dog,
Nor man’s best friend,
Far from an average pet,
But a daughter,
Dedicated to loving and protecting all of her family.
She had her role all figured out,
She was obedient,
But also elegant with a little sass,
Which is why she was so unique,
And will be extremely memorable to all!
Amy was special,
Her passing is a tragedy
One I can’t yet comprehend,
It makes no sense to me,
How loosing her can possibly be true and fair.
She had a huge presence throughout the house,
And her spirit will remain there,
Without a doubt.
Store those memories,
Collect those pictures and video’s,
And keep them safe,
In an accessible place.
Sometimes grief makes us forget,
Delete out of fear of eternal pain,
Evokes suffering and regret.
But one day the tears will stop,
The sadness will lift,
And you will be able to smile and reminisce,
Become strong enough to be nostalgic without anger,
You will then believe me when I say she hasn’t all gone away,
Her presence and powerful spirit will never leave you,
Because she was a part of you,
And there is nothing, anyone or anything can do to break that,
She will always be by your side,
Please remember that!
There is this thing, that when you are older, like our grandparents age, funerals become your main social event! Everyone starts to go and leave us behind, and so they dress smart, pay their respects, then enjoy the odd drink or two as they reflect upon their net of contacts shrinking, and being left alone, the very last and final one.
A poem dedicated to Grandma (an epitaph soon to come)…
Five deaths in just under a year,
As you get older,
Nature starts to interfere.
There is nothing you can do,
About the pain that their departure put’s them through,
Put’s us through,
We can only hope that they have gone to a better place.