A Diary From Noone

She spoke but no one heard, every scream seemed a whisper, and so she took pen to paper...

Tag: #instagram

Sanity Not Vanity….

Good Health is prayed for by many but those prayers are not always answered in a straight forward way and we need a little extra man made help,but that help has unpleasant side effects. Sometimes you got to take the rough with the smooth. I take medication every single day, to keep the demons at bay and maintain some kind of “normal” existence, but the pills aren’t magic, it’s not like just pop one and all will be well;it is a long and monotonous ritual that I must endure to function. Yet the weight gain makes me question the worth of my sanity over my vanity. I am an isolated recluse because I cannot bare my reflection, the pictures that others take of me, the way people look at me, perceive me, think of me. I see disgust in people’s eyes. I have to much junk in my trunk, stubborn bowels that barely function and despite water fasts, diets, juice detox, exercise… The weight won’t budge because of my sanity medication. An awful lot of people are prescribed a lifetime of meds for one health reason or another and will relate to this ongoing issue of mine and so I am experimenting, should the results show, I will undoubtedly share with you all. #sanitynotvanity is mostly an experimental diet, avoiding as much processed food as possible. It is all about DIY and prep but hopefully the time and effort put in will produce some worthy results. Thus far I can categorically say that starvation and limited calories just does not work long term, especially for pill takers, we need fuel and energy to burn, burn burn. I am on a food journey to combat my feacle impaction, ill mental health, physical ailments and self confidence. Join me via my Instagram as I begin this experiment #adiaryfromnone where I will try to find the right balance of food and exercise, the right types and kinds to make a healthy, positive difference. Currently showing taster snaps… ingredients, methods, instructions, bio’s soon to come, so get involved now xx
instagram.com/adiaryfromnoone

No Picture’s Please!

When you look into the mirror,
What do you see?
When you look at a photograph of yourself,
What do you see?
When you take a selfie,
What do you see?
Beauty?
Potential?
Are you happy to let these picture roam free,
Travelling from the camera,
To a photo album,
Or on the internet for all to see,
Instagram,
Facebook,
Filter,
Tag,
Transported to a world of technology,
Where it will stay for eternity,
Become part of your history.
Bad angle?
Swipe and delete,
Rip it up,
Scratch it out,
Deny the tag,
Erase it,
Burn it.
Do you care what other people see?
Does analysing how you look equate to vanity?
Is worrying about it a profanity?
You may see something in me that I don’t see,
My personality may disguise it,
But I don’t want you to look at me,
Out of fear that you may see what I see,
And like me,
Have it etched into your memory for eternity.
You need not discuss,
Comment,
Insinuate,
Mock,
Or ridicule me,
By saying that when you look at me,
You see beauty!
I know what I am,
And beautiful I am not.
When I look in the mirror,
See your photographs of me,
Take a selfie,
I see blurred lines,
Mismatched shapes,
Flaws,
Dents,
Blemishes,
Fat,
That amalgamates into a vision of ugliness and nightmare’s,
Leaving a taste of bitterness.
I hate myself.
I must confess.
To top all of my personal insecurities,
We live in a world where self image is priceless,
And that makes me feel even more worthless.
Beauty is within the eye’s of the beholder,
I have eye’s,
But see no beauty.
Be it a curse,
Or bad luck,
This card was dealt to me,
I don’t ask for your sympathy,
Just please,
Don’t take pictures of me.

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