BPD

I feel very much on the border today,
Sanity verses Insanity,
Battling to keep up with humanity,
Desiring being a deity,
Fraustration triggering profanity,
I am just really struggling with being me,
Wholesome and free,
Struggling with the idea that I could have been anything that I wanted to be,
When fully engulfing BPD stole everything and my personality,
Placing me in a future that no one could forsee,
Taking me off track and putting me in an entirely different category.

Nip, Tuck And Polish…

Just found a poem from 2013, 29/10/13. I have altered it slightly for personal taste…

Tired of trying,
Run out of fight,
Nothing but darkness floating through light.
They don’t hear me.
They don’t see me.
They know not to protect me.
Alone I suffer.
Stepping out of myself,
I turn around to try and see me,
See me like they do,
Like you do.
All I see is a a burning tornado of flames,
Up near the Chimney in what appears to be a window,
My doppelganger or reflection stands looking out,
Undisturbed by the surroundings,
No struggle,
No fight,
A quiet and peaceful surrender.
Accepting what is,
I step back into my cacoon,
See now that I was looking out to the moon,
The flames hurt me not,
I just await my blazing fate.
Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
What shall be,
Shall be,
I will die if I must.
Whether it be the flames,
Or I self combust,
Enduring this pain,
I will no longer!
I am done with all this fuss!