Blood Is Thick

Tis fact that you are familiar with ill fortune,
Your ears have heard the tale of many woes,
Perhaps weakening your compassion,
Pained details becoming a fashion,
That by duty you must hear and impartially adhere to,
So much so that you perceive my grumblings as petulance,
Detached you are,
This is apparent from your facetious and needless remarks,
That you have barked,
Despite my fragility.
You harbour no emotion,
It is all innocent and guilty,
When it comes to my commotion,
Because we share no blood.
Occasionally fond of me,
But only love would enable you to hear and see,
The true pitty,
Wich is my history,
Evoking such misery,
So much so that it obliterated my destiny.
Now on a new path,
I do not forget,
Still waiting for you to love me,
But I no longer threat.
I ask for nothing from you,
And am therefor not disappointed,
You are happy with our distance,
And so it is kept.
Thinking I meant more to you,
Sums me up more than what you do,
Or don’t truly think.
You compared me to them,
That’s when I knew when,
You are detached,
And I cannot change that,
We need not walk on eggshells,
Nor tango,
Waltz,
Two Step around it,
Different blood we have,
Completely different roots,
I’ve seen the apple in your eye,
Your dedication to the princess and the glass slipper,
So made of stone you are not,
I’m just the old boot,
But a boot I am,
And I must be greatful for that,
Blood is thick,
Wine is devine,
But we all need water from time to time.

Take A Look At Your Own Mentality!?

Yo!
They heckle.
Freak,
Nuts,
Insane,
Not all there,
Half brain.
Shout your insults,
I don’t care,
You can pick those words up from anywhere!
Not only do you need to expand your vocabulary,
But instead of dissing me,
Take a look at your own mentality.
So you pick on people,
Make them feel small,
Try and hover above us,
Get to us,
And so you feel tall.
How about just minding your own business!?
I have no time for those that are unwilling to learn,
You annoy me,
But I cannot give you the satisfaction,
Of being my main concern,
Nor will I throw shade back at you,
Spreading the blazing fire,
From whence the trigger you did ignite,
Jumping on the band wagon,
Entering a fight with forgotten purpose or insight.
From such scenarios,
The drama shadows the roots,
Heads turn for the wrong reason,
And instead of resolvement,
Acknowledgement,
Resolution,
Prompting inclusion,
Understanding,
And a solution,
The focus gets distorted by your animosity,
Inviting more vultures,
To pollute the minds of the the impartial,
Media gets it twisted,
More haters are enlisted,
The idea of global,
Social,
Empathy,
And Understanding,
Is lost in ignorance pollution.
To the haters,
The trolls,
The small minded,
Blind,
Ignorant,
Judgemental,
I am drowning you out,
Because the venom from your mouth,
Is not worth a whisper,
Definitely nothing to shout about,
And unworthy of me to talk about.
I put my hands up,
With absolutely no shame,
I suffer from mental illness,
Which is a cognitive impediment in the brain.
I still have a heart to Love,
A soul to anchor feeling,
Being a mental health advocate is my choice,
And as I raise awareness,
I do it all for us,
Anyone,
And everyone,
Representing all of us,
With for now,
Just one voice,
But you are welcome to join me,
It is your choice!?

www.adiaryfromnoone.co.uk
“No One’s Lounge” via my YouTube channel noone adiaryfromnoone
All social media, adiaryfromnoone

Be Humane

My life has been an unenjoyable rollercoaster of ups and downs from the beginning of my time.
In order to get your attention,
I usually write in rhyme,
Instead of flicking past me,
The rhythm and melody of my words carefully sown together,
It seems to attract you,
Gives me time,
Time to speak freely,
Honestly,
About the highs and lows of human mentality.
This is my reality,
No filter,
No script,
Or set up scene’s,
But the brutal truth of living with bad mental health as a human being.
I cannot raise awareness or demand change,
If you are not fully aware of the vast and delicate intimacy of mental health.
If you separate yourself,
Believing the subject doesn’t matter if it is happening to someone else,
And not you yourself,
You can live in denial,
You can ignore the facts,
Leave my words to rot on your dusty shelf,
But these issues won’t solve themselves!
We all have mental health,
Bad mental health is a disability,
However it bestows upon thee,
Often a result of inequality,
Poverty,
A result of nurture,
Or nature,
Simply the way God made ya,
Whatever!
You have to remember that in our entire lifetime,
It can happen to one in four,
Which means we cannot ignore it anymore!
Why is there so much stigma?
So much hate?
Open your eye’s and ears with me,
And contemplate.
No one wants pain,
To suffer,
Don’t be ignorant and brush it off because it is happening to another,
We could be talking about your sister or brother.
Don’t be selfish,
No one is immune,
If it is not you now,
It could be you soon!
Now,
I don’t mean to patronise,
Or antagonise any of you,
Mental health is not the common cold,
Or flu,
It is not something you can catch,
But as a matter of fact,
It can be genetic,
And being conscious of this isn’t pathetic.
Living with mental health problems,
It is really hard,
And if you are dealt that card,
Less judgement from others would allow us to still feel valid.
Open your minds and be empathetic,
Learn, know and understand,
Before casting us all off as contraband.
Prejudice and ignorance does not a problem solve,
It divides us,
Encourages segregation,
Our kind has had enough of that,
Let us not go backwards,
May we move forward,
And stop standing still.
Hold my hand and help other’s learn and understand,
That being ill,
It’s not a choice,
It happens against our will.
We are all still Human,
And so please,
Be humane!

A Festival From No One

I had a dream. A rather huge one. I wanted to physically make a difference, reach out to people and raise awareness. I wanted to do something other then blogging, poetry and social media. I wanted to send my message face to face, do something more personal. I collaborated with many talented people and managed to organise and create a mini festival, to raise awareness for mental health. There was a wonderful turn out and such a huge presence of love and support. People left refreshed and inspired. People came together because of my event. We embraced and acknowledged that mental health can happen to anyone, we all have mentality, we all have the capability of forming ill mental health just as we all have the capability of having good mental health. It isn’t a black and white issue. Mental health is complex and hinders one in four of the entire population. I have had poor mental health for exactly half of my life thus far, possibly even more. I know of people that have fallen sick without warning and recovered just the same. I know of people who have lost the battle and died. I know of people in full recovery. I know of many people like myself who just take it a day at a time.
I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, mental health nurse or mental health professional but I believe that information from the horses mouth, someone who has experienced a diverse range of mental health symptoms, been in various mental health institutions for substantial periods of time, made friends with people with mental health, witnessed many different types of mental health, has given me a great deal of knowledge and empathy. I don’t know all of the answers but I do know the common denominators. People with mental health feel judged and misunderstood and therefor feel irrelevant and inadequate. People feel ashamed and tired of going in circles of explaining and feeling judged and misunderstood. When it feels like the entire world is on your shoulders, a hand off a friend, ear off a family member, the option of offloading without being judged can make a huge difference. The stigma against mental health can make it very hard for people to acknowledge it in themselves, to deal with by themselves, to recognise in themselves or acknowledge in others. All of my raising awareness work, the stuff that I put out there, is to help others realise that they are not alone. I speak the truth and share my pain because people can identify with my woe’s and experiences. Everything on this site or my Facebook page and soon to be running YouTube channel (@adiaryfromnoone) is non-fiction. I speak my truth, from an abstract manor to blunt and honest, and everything in-between. It very much depends on how I am feeling when I write, all of my poems just come to me, they are not preconceived, they are sparked by a variety of triggers (although I can’t tell you what) and if I don’t get them down there and then, they vanish. I retell my experiences. I share to educate the people who know nothing about mental health, the people who want to know and understand everything about mental health, the people who cannot understand and/or therefor help their friends, family, loved ones or colleagues because of a lack of communication and accurate information. I share to give people someone real to identify with. I write about mistreatment. I write about good treatment. I am honest about what it feels like to be suicidal, to self harm, to feel unloved and unheard with no strength to carry on. I write about the scary and dangerous hallucinations and psychosis. I am an open book. Ignorant people will interpret my work as, “airing dirty laundry” or “to much information” because my blogs and poems may come across a little to honest and detailed, but such is the truth of mental heath, we cannot wrap it up in cotton wool, it is serious, it takes lives and needs to be recognised.
I want everyone to acknowledge and understand mental health. To reach out to people all over the world that do not live in places where mental health is acknowledged and are forced to conceal their ill health. I want to encourage training in all business’s, especially across the NHS. I want teachers to educate the children, our future, on mental health. I want to encourage people to engage in the positives of mental health for well being, good diet, exercise and breathing etc.
I don’t have the same platform as some of the huge mental health charities that already exist and do great things, like Mind, Sane Head’s Together etc. I don’t feel like there is a charity out there that is as personal as what I envisage, want to create and oversee. I am No One, no one in particular, reaching out to everyone, excluding no one. I want people to be known and communicate under their names, not medical numbers. I want to build a positive webbed community where people can exchange stories of both ill and good metal health and learn from one another. Sometimes peers are a lot easier to connect with then someone in uniform.
This is very much just a dream at the moment. I am not to well and my mood changes all through the day, all day, everyday. I am not always compos mentis but for now, I endeavour to write and ask you to share anything @adiaryfromnoone to help me raise awareness as much as you can for me.