I had a dream. A rather huge one. I wanted to physically make a difference, reach out to people and raise awareness. I wanted to do something other then blogging, poetry and social media. I wanted to send my message face to face, do something more personal. I collaborated with many talented people and managed to organise and create a mini festival, to raise awareness for mental health. There was a wonderful turn out and such a huge presence of love and support. People left refreshed and inspired. People came together because of my event. We embraced and acknowledged that mental health can happen to anyone, we all have mentality, we all have the capability of forming ill mental health just as we all have the capability of having good mental health. It isn’t a black and white issue. Mental health is complex and hinders one in four of the entire population. I have had poor mental health for exactly half of my life thus far, possibly even more. I know of people that have fallen sick without warning and recovered just the same. I know of people who have lost the battle and died. I know of people in full recovery. I know of many people like myself who just take it a day at a time.
I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, mental health nurse or mental health professional but I believe that information from the horses mouth, someone who has experienced a diverse range of mental health symptoms, been in various mental health institutions for substantial periods of time, made friends with people with mental health, witnessed many different types of mental health, has given me a great deal of knowledge and empathy. I don’t know all of the answers but I do know the common denominators. People with mental health feel judged and misunderstood and therefor feel irrelevant and inadequate. People feel ashamed and tired of going in circles of explaining and feeling judged and misunderstood. When it feels like the entire world is on your shoulders, a hand off a friend, ear off a family member, the option of offloading without being judged can make a huge difference. The stigma against mental health can make it very hard for people to acknowledge it in themselves, to deal with by themselves, to recognise in themselves or acknowledge in others. All of my raising awareness work, the stuff that I put out there, is to help others realise that they are not alone. I speak the truth and share my pain because people can identify with my woe’s and experiences. Everything on this site or my Facebook page and soon to be running YouTube channel (@adiaryfromnoone) is non-fiction. I speak my truth, from an abstract manor to blunt and honest, and everything in-between. It very much depends on how I am feeling when I write, all of my poems just come to me, they are not preconceived, they are sparked by a variety of triggers (although I can’t tell you what) and if I don’t get them down there and then, they vanish. I retell my experiences. I share to educate the people who know nothing about mental health, the people who want to know and understand everything about mental health, the people who cannot understand and/or therefor help their friends, family, loved ones or colleagues because of a lack of communication and accurate information. I share to give people someone real to identify with. I write about mistreatment. I write about good treatment. I am honest about what it feels like to be suicidal, to self harm, to feel unloved and unheard with no strength to carry on. I write about the scary and dangerous hallucinations and psychosis. I am an open book. Ignorant people will interpret my work as, “airing dirty laundry” or “to much information” because my blogs and poems may come across a little to honest and detailed, but such is the truth of mental heath, we cannot wrap it up in cotton wool, it is serious, it takes lives and needs to be recognised.
I want everyone to acknowledge and understand mental health. To reach out to people all over the world that do not live in places where mental health is acknowledged and are forced to conceal their ill health. I want to encourage training in all business’s, especially across the NHS. I want teachers to educate the children, our future, on mental health. I want to encourage people to engage in the positives of mental health for well being, good diet, exercise and breathing etc.
I don’t have the same platform as some of the huge mental health charities that already exist and do great things, like Mind, Sane Head’s Together etc. I don’t feel like there is a charity out there that is as personal as what I envisage, want to create and oversee. I am No One, no one in particular, reaching out to everyone, excluding no one. I want people to be known and communicate under their names, not medical numbers. I want to build a positive webbed community where people can exchange stories of both ill and good metal health and learn from one another. Sometimes peers are a lot easier to connect with then someone in uniform.
This is very much just a dream at the moment. I am not to well and my mood changes all through the day, all day, everyday. I am not always compos mentis but for now, I endeavour to write and ask you to share anything @adiaryfromnoone to help me raise awareness as much as you can for me.