The thorny crown,
Heaviness on my shoulders,
Weighing me down,
Imprinting a crown,
That I force upwards,
Away from the ground,
To fool you all,
And appear sound.
My tears fall,
Consumed with worry,
I want to bang my head against the wall,
Caught consuming negative emotions,
Like catching a ball.
My picture fell,
As I dwell upon my worries,
Is this a sign from hell,
Telling me what is to become,
I am definitely unwell,
History suggests that this won’t end well,
Poisened I am cursed in this endless torturous mental health spell!

The Hungry Caterpillar…

And much like the hungry Caterpillar,
Hunger turns to greed,
As we destroy everything in sight,
Whatever crosses our path,
Until we hit a brick wall,
And can no longer go on,
A break down,
A rest,
A transformation,
Working progress,
As we revert back to our beginning,
Clutching only ourselves,
In a foetal position we lay,
To some,
There lies death,
Eternal rest,
Where others blossom,
We start a new,
Radiant to the eye,
Now able to soar,
We fly,
No longer ignorant,
Unafraid of what is nighy,
Ready to live,
Gifted with a second chance,
No longer blinded by greed,
Marching penguins,
Rushing forward,
Into the unknown,
We see,
We hear,
We feel,
All fresh,
And new,
Set free,
Unchained from the rhythm of the marching drum,
Now aware,
Mindful of whom we are,
And where we came from,
Dancing free,
To the melody,
Of freedom.

For My Mother…

When you look into the eyes of a loved one after a mental health episode, it is emotionally suffocating. You see the pain that you have caused them reflect from their over dilated pupils. The stains from tears upon their cheeks and heavy bags from lack of sleep. They look worse off then you do. Not being a mother myself, I cannot fathom the pain that I have put her through and only hope that she knows causing her pain whilst suffering from a poorly brain, is not what I intended to do. Nothing that you can say or do can cancel, delete or take away the emotional scarring that you have lasered upon them. All words of apology, any type of explanation disintegrate before they reach her ears because you have awakened her deepest fears. Unintentionally or not, the damage has already been done. Once in a state of clarity, I now see and acknowledge the wrongs that I have done and apologise whole heartedly. Please know that I love you and accept the damage that I have done. You are my Mum, my home and where I came from.