A Diary From Noone

She spoke but no one heard, every scream seemed a whisper, and so she took pen to paper...

Tag: #bbc

Me Live on The BBC… Please Listen & Share if you also care about Mental Health Awareness…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p056ffm2#play

Tonight I spoke about mental health via spoken word; the subject is still considered a taboo and carries a lot of unnecessary stigma. This is my opportunity to initiate a bit of clarity and prove that mental illness is not always something to be scared of.
Everyone has mental health; it is the cognitive part of the brain, therefor absolutely everyone has the potential to acquire ill mental health. One can argue that some people are even born with it, genetics do play a part, as does ones environment or lifestyle. Ill mental health affects one in three people in their lifetime, Therefor it needs to be a subject that is known and understood as general knowledge, not just if it hits you close to home.
As a self-appointed mental health awareness advocate, I go by the name, “No One”! This is not a derogative term but one of inclusion; I represent anyone and everyone, no one in particular.
I feel that I know the Mental Health system very well, I’ve been in it for more than half of my life, especially since my breakdown in 2013, I was then subsequently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, depending on where you are in the world.
I have to deal with severe symptoms like psychosis, hallucinations, depression, mania, numbness, dissociation which can, and do often lead to impulsive self-destructive and suicidal behaviour, on a daily basis, in rapid cycles; it is exhausting, terrifying and isolating. I have been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for years. No one would choose this lifestyle.
Lately the media has been talking a lot about mental health and celebrities have been speaking up and out about their experiences, encouraging all, to communicate their problems with friends, families and peers. Yet this is not always an option for everybody. Religion, ethnicity, culture, sexuality may discourage vulnerable individuals. Not everyone has someone! I agree that it is good to talk, to offload but most of, “Jo Blogs” (which is understandable due to the lack of general mental health education) they often don’t know what to suggest or how to help. Sometimes friends and family get overwhelmed and seemingly turn their backs, emotions, love and fear often results in them not wanting to hear and makes them take a step back. So if able, you turn to the professionals and you still get nothing! Many of the mental health working practitioners that I have encountered, they simply don’t know how to react to confessions as complex as mine own, because they have not personally experienced it or been trained on how to handle it, a generic text book will only get you so far. The NHS mental health system is struggling and literally cannot expand their care to help all that need it.
My website, www.adiaryfromnoone.co.uk has a purpose. Inclusivity! My writing allows others that are unwell to identify and not feel alone, also their connections to understand what they may not be able to articulate or express themselves.
I am organising my second festival to bring families and the community together in a creative environment with mental health at the heart of it. Saturday 22nd July, 12-5pm @ 123-125 Showell Green Lane, B11 4JD Please come along and support the cause. Donations are welcome but this is a free event. The majority of money raised is going to, “Caring Minds Charity” whom distribute donations between The Birmingham And Solihull Mental Health Trust. I specifically want it to go towards training.

BBC ONE…. FEATURING NONE OTHER THAN I…

Thursday 30th March 2017 was a fantastical day for me. With very short notice (which in high insight worked only in my favour) I was invited to London to speak to a small group of brave and inspirational fighters of ill mental health. All four of us had very different experiences of ill mental health, yet became United when we all acknowledged how empowering both embracing and communicating our experiences have been rewarding and healing on our journeys to recovery. My consistent contact with my support worker for example, talking, sharing and expressing my feelings to her are both refreshing and therapeutic. Some people talk to friends, lovers, family, psychiatrists, whom ever you talk to, a huge part of the healing affect that, that gives you, mostly comes from within, because you have allowed yourself to acknowledge and release!
There are still so many misconceptions about mental health, the subject carries an awful lot of stigma and negativity and is still often considered as a, “Taboo” subject. Until people are brave enough to speak out, loud and honestly about their experiences within the realms of mental health, we cannot blame people for their ignorance and misunderstanding. The best way to educate people about mental health is to speak openly about it, not to be ashamed and feel like you have a dirty little secret. Bottling up leads to denial and increases pain and suffering. Acknowledging and sharing your experiences helps you to process and is a huge step towards recovery. People need to speak and people need to listen, embracing this attitude creates a safety net, takes the weight off your shoulders and brings people together.
Celebrities are starting to admit and share their mental health experiences, the platform of networking that they have means more and more people are becoming aware that mental health exists, that people from all walks of life can have episodes and highlights the fact that it is OK and actually quite common to be vulnerable.
Suffering from BPD, Anxiety, Depression and psychosis myself, I have many stories to tell and share about my experiences, what it is like to be me hour by hour, what being institutionalised is like, how successful/incompetent NHS Mental Health Care staff can and cannot be. The list goes on…
The saddest thing is that even though more and more people are acknowledging and accepting that mental health is just as important as physical health, the budgets just keep getting cut. I am personally fundraising for a community and family friendly festival to celebrate mental health awareness and also donating the majority of the proceeds to “Changing Minds” charity, who distribute the money they receive between Birmingham and Solihull Mental Health Foundation Trust. I don’t have a huge networking platform or a huge social media following. I am just no one in particular that is trying to do an extremely good thing whilst simultaneously suffering with mental health and fighting to stay on the road to recovery. It has nearly been a year since my last hospital admittance. Hooray! Yet realistically I could quite easily relapse tomorrow, staying safe and alive are two extremely difficult tasks for me. I am fortunate enough to have both family and professional support and I do communicate but even I often edit the truth, hold back on being completely free and sharing because I don’t want to go back to hospital! So please don’t feel that I do not understand how hard it is to voice and share how you feel and how you are or are not coping. The idea is that once initiated, it may get easier. I think at the very least, this is a great avenue to explore and if it is difficult, try to persevere. Nothing is easy but your life is worth fighting for.
Please check out the BBC link, I feature just after 20 minutes in…


Also please share/talk about/donate towards my crowdfunding…

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/jade-laurie-hart?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Yimbyprojectpage&utm_content=jade-laurie-hart&utm_campaign=projectpage-share-owner&utm_term=3wyAXEnQp

Keep communicating, thank you for reading.
X

DEMAND CHANGE…

Scroll to the bottom if you would prefer to listen, otherwise… happy reading. Please share this one, it means an awful lot to me. Thanks for visiting, come back soon!? XX

DEMAND CHANGE!

If the last four years are anything to go by,
Excuse me as I start to cry,
Because my psychologist told me that I will have this monster of an illness for the entirety of my life!
What!?
I see her every three months or so,
Go in,
Come out,
Who knows what the fuck we talk about!?
I am just another number,
Case load,
For her to box and shelf,
To prove to the bankers’ that I have been seen and “helped”,
But she hasn’t,
Helped me, that is!
Help ignites hope,
But she blew out my candle when she condemned me to an eternity of helpless misery.
I shout my woes,
Confess my sins,
Tell them all of the out’s and in’s,
But they neither see nor hear me,
Not one of all of the professionals that supposedly support me,
They just give me more pills to sooth me,
No,
Silence me!
People in my very small social and immediate family network ask that I at least communicate with them before battling with self-destruction,
But how can I purposefully burden my friends and family?
Firstly, If I disclose all the intricate details of my intense suffering,
I fear that they may section me,
And believe me,
I have been institutionalised enough times already!
The full truth,
The whole truth,
Nothing but the truth,
Will make people not want to speak or listen to me.
And so I write,
And I write,
And I write.
I may not be as articulate and witty as the professional’s,
Lack in vocabulary somewhat,
Be short of the spark that creates recognition and popularity,
A magnitude of followers,
The camera skills to go viral,
The voice of an angel,
Musicality like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart,
But this is my art!
Speaking from the heart,
Everything that I say is true.
It may be a matter of preaching to the converted for now,
I see you nodding your head,
Taking in every word that I have said,
Thank you,
Give me an Amen!?
The budget cuts in the mental health system,
The up rise in mental health patients,
The increase in the number of people with mental health problems on the streets,
Scrapping for food to eat,
As if they don’t already have enough problems.
The black hole between help in the community and hospital admittance,
The loss of mental health control,
Less beds,
More med’s,
The increase in suicide!
I struggle to cope every single day!
I see and hear things that other people can’t,
Lucky them!
I don’t eat,
I don’t sleep,
I don’t shower,
Brush my hair or teeth,
Or I eat too much,
Sleep too much,
OCD kicks in and you could seriously eat off my dustbin!
I cry,
I panic,
I hallucinate,
I self-harm,
I hate myself,
And contemplate suicide most days!
If you have to ask why?
You haven’t been listening!
If you find my revelations a bit intense,
Then I am truly sorry,
But this is the reality,
My reality,
My life story forever more,
As my never ending diagnosis of;
BPD,
Depression,
Anxiety,
And Psychosis has been bestowed upon me for eternity!
I long for the times when I could distinguish the difference between bad days and good.
I once had the capability to actually believe in myself.
I have always had ill mental health,
First therapy session at twelve,
On pills since sixteen,
But there was still enough space in my life to dream,
Even moments when I conquered,
But I am no longer on this planet for me,
But for the people who love me!
Even though they may not fully know or understand me,
I can forgive them for that,
I do not fully know or understand myself,
But for some reason,
Some amazing people do actually love me!
And so I am very confused by this but recognise their love,
And therefor I am extremely thankful and lucky.
I fear and feel for those that have no one,
Those that receive no love at all and feel weak because of this.
Think about how isolating it is for those that have absolutely no one to share their experiences with.
There are people that have no one to aid their struggles with physical and psychological pain.
It is my pleasure and self-administrated duty to share with and represent my fellow Borderline’s,
Depressive’s,
The Anxious,
My neighbours The Schizophrenic’s,
The Bi-Polar’s,
And all of the above,
All of you,
The list is as long as my battered and bruised arms.
It takes personal experience to understand sometimes,
But you do not need a degree to practice listening or conjure empathy.
You do not need to be mentally ill yourself to acknowledge how integral mental health is in our society.
As a result of increased and continuous budget cuts in a financially deprived yet desperate area of NHS Health,
People are dying every single day.
This is a fact that deeply saddens me to say,
But this is an increasing problem that will not just calm down and go away.
We must unite and demand change.
Demand change.
DEMAND CHANGE!
With change we can help people very much in need.
With change we can potentially cut down the suicide.
With change tomorrow may not seem as grey!

Damilola Taylor

When did humans forget?
Forget to let children be children?
Allow them to learn through play,
Through monitored mistakes,
To lead them to the best of our ability,
Offering hope,
Potential,
And all possibilities,
To know right from wrong,
Allowing them to reach for the stars,
Through nature,
Through nurture,
via education in school’s that have our children’s futures at heart and as targets,
Not just money and ofsted results and reports,
In communities,
Where people come together rather then segregate themselves due to class, race or other insignificant particulars.
When did adults forget?
Forget their parental and adult responsibilities,
To offer comfort,
Care,
Love,
And lead the way,
By setting good examples,
Teaching right from wrong?
When did we forget to communicate our differences in peace and with respect?
Pop Pop,
Shanking left, right and center.
Bang Bang,
Bullets flying like birds in the air.
Hate crime,
Youth crime,
Violent crime,
Unnecessary crime.
There is justice in punishment,
But by then it is to late.
Children and the young are being killed,
killed before they even start living.
If children cannot be children,
It can be fight or flight,
Something to do,
Peer pressure,
The streets do not a good person make,
It is dog eat dog,
kid’s pushing drugs,
When they should be sucking lolly pops.
People,
Both adults and children are attacked,
Robbed,
killed.
Killed for their diversity,
Their faith,
Their class,
For games sake,
And no justice can bring back the dead.
Whether we agree or not,
There are laws that we must all abide to,
No one is immune,
Adult or child,
There is no street pass,
Try running but you can’t hide,
You do the crime,
You must serve the time.
But I want a world where we strip things back,
Get to the route of the problem,
In order to avoid loss and tragedy.
Trials,
And bars are punishment,
But do we not have the intelligence, funds and responsibilities to intervene before the crime?
The reality is,
Not all of us have great starts in life,
Anyone of us could fall into the wrong crowd,
Grow up without love and good care,
And therefor love and care for no one.
Those individuals may have no guidance,
may not have experienced love,
And it is those people that we need to try and help before hate.
I do not condole or pardon the act of inflicting physical or mental pain upon another,
I also don’t presume that every criminal comes from poverty,
I am not ignorant enough to label everyone that grows up in poverty or mistreatment will commit a crime,
I just feel that every child and young person deserves a positive start in life,
We all deserve a chance.
Everyone should have one!

A child named Damilola Tayler (07/12/1989- 27/11/2000) an innocent boy, had his life taken from him before it even properly began, it is said to be a matter of the wrong place at the wrong time, he was stabbed and bled to death. According to the BBC, 204 teenagers in London have died as victims of knife crime since 2000. Damilola’s siblings and Mother, Gloria Taylor (died 2008) and Father, Richard Taylor (still campaigning against violence crimes) concentrated on the roots and core of the misfortune of their baby’s death, by helping other children in poor area’s with very little opportunity at, “The Damilola Taylor Trust”.
Rather then becoming bitter, switching off and expressing hate, the Taylor’s saw the need for change, for the young with very little opportunity and at high risk of turning to crime. In order to prevent history constantly repeating itself, Damilola’s parents selflessly helped the young in the community. The tragedy opened their eyes and the push and need for change ignited within them. Mr Taylor has been recognised and noticed for his activist beliefs and received an “OBE” in 2011 for his kind and very much needed work. He is still fighting and helping young communities today! He is an inspiration and I am sure that Damilola would be very proud.

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