Stuck between the sheets…

Stuck between the sheets,
Unable to reach out,
Masked,
Hidden,
And unseen.
Floating in white space,
Sinking into the dark and bottomless sea.
Wanting to rise up to the clouds above,
Far and beyond to the stars in the glowing night sky.
I deceive you,
You may physically see me,
Once me and I,
Are now what was.
Now empty inside,
I cannot own such tittles.
Withered in rot and decay.
With dismay I now lead an empty life.
Throw rocks and stones to break my bones,
But they cannot hurt me anymore then I am hurting.
The pain lingers on.
As does my existence.
But there is no light.
No life.
I am now only a shadow of what was.
Trapped in the maze of my mind,
Where things are most unkind.
Blind,
I cannot see past misery.

And together we shall always be…

My eyes wonder up to the sky,
Where Angle’s and spirits lie.
I know that you travel across land and sea,
But sparkle in the sky and so I can see,
I feel you in my heart and all around,
Even though you don’t make a sound,
I know that you are protecting me,
And together we shall always be.

I die alone…

Why is it that I am consumed with misery and destined for misfortune? A rotten egg, the runt of the litter, I was dealt the hand of disappointment. No matter which direction that I take, all rotes are filled with poison. Given an enormous heart, full of love, crushed and never to be loved in return. I repel all potential suiters. From family to friends and lovers, deserted by all and destined for a life alone. There is no remedy. My heart was built to love, but cursed, I shall never receive it. My heart, like a machine propels, searches and targets those to love but unsuccessful, self combusts. Crushed. I feel the heavy pangs in my chest. How cruel is natures path? To allow me to love so deeply and desire almost desperately, yet nothing in return. People don’t understand. How could they, if they don’t know this pain. I wish it upon anyone. I do not wish an explanation upon them, why burden them with my woes? I was born Alone and alone I shall die. Smothered with rejection from my very first day. My love like an infection. I pledge just to love and be loved in return but receive nothing but cold isolation. As to why, I shall never know. Banished to the outskirts of society. Out of sight, out of mind. They forget me, whilst all I do is think of them. Driven to madness, I slowly fade away. Unloved, without partner nor child, just a void of unhappiness. Wither, wither, I die alone.

Just a corpse now….

And so you pushed and twisted and turned,
Turned and twisted and pushed,
The silver blade within her,
You plunged it into her heart.
Disguised under your invisible cloak,
You had full control of her.
You manipulated each move that she made,
Each thought that she had.
Under your restraint,
Fueled with your toxic venom.
Running like an engine,
No longer herself.
Just a corpse now,
The battered down woman which you vowed to love.

Possessed

Hello!
Are you me?
Or are you a stranger simply impersonating me?
Are you real?
Surely I couldn’t conjure up something/someone so evil?
So dangerous?
So bad for me?
Why can’t I permenantly shut you down?
At least lessen the noise?
I glimpse and grab hold of seconds of silence and almost remember feeling peace.
I obey your orders,
Craving some release.
I can barely remember life without you.
Life without this pain and misery.
The sadder that I am,
The stronger you seem to become.
There are theories about where this self hate springs from,
But we cannot confirm where you,
The parasite,
Sprang from.
Overwhelmed and overcome,
The weaker that I become,
Fuels your power to possess me.

Bloody Red Drops

Like tears,
The bloody red drops,
And just for a momet,
The other pain stops.
Oh the constant search for tranquility,
Moon walking through the stars,
Misery marks its territory,
And leaves terrible battle scars.
Oh how to stop,
I do not know?
I mask the pain,
Don’t let it show.
My secret,
Somehow it works though.
Like tears,
The bloody red drops,
And just for a moment,
The other pain stops.

Bullies

They hunt,
They target,
They pursue,
They could pick on any one of you.

They manipulate,
They intimidate,
They know how to articulate,
And before you know it,
They have you.

Your innocent and naïve,
It makes it easier for them to achieve,
Spun in their lies and deceit,
Makes their challenge complete.

Trapped in a web,
The vulture’s pursue you,
And there is no escape,
They now determine your fate.

Tangled and intertwined,
They honour you like a trophy,
And there is no escape,
They have you,
And they’ve won.

Under their spell,
Trapped in hell,
You give in,
And feel obligated to let them win.

I would like to say forgive them,
They know not what they do,
But that is not true,
They know,
And before you know,
It is to late.

They dictate all that you do,
Until they have what that they want,
lose interest in you,
And find someone new.

They spit you out when they’ve done,
Leaving you confused and damaged,
Left hopeless with low self esteem,
Used up and unclean,
Nothing left to redeem.

Scared beyond repair,
They leave you to rot,
In hell,
Whilst they skip off into the sunset,
Looking for someone else to put under their spell.

Deep breath in and big breath out…

I often ly down,
Perfectly still,
Taking a deep breath in,
Big breath out,
Staring blankly at the ceiling above,
My minds eye flickers,
Projecting images,
Some true,
Some false,
I watch the silent movie of my life,
Although I  wish it wasn’t,
My life,
My life to watch,
My life to live,
To live at all.

Fuck You!

No one had higher goals then I,
Anchors may have pulled me down,
But the light was in constant site,
Feet firmly on the ground,
There were no limits,
No hesitations,
Fearless,
My power of belief allowed me to fly,
I believed that anything was possible,
As long as you try.
I fear that I was deluded.
We don’t  always get what we want.
We often get punished with things that we don’t  want.
I look at you,
And the same rules clearly don’t  apply.
Everything comes so easy to you.
No flaws,
No quarms,
Unpunished,
Successful in all persuits.
Is it fate that made you considerably  luckier than I?
Did I get a bad hand and you get the good?
You have everything that we ever dreamed of,
Dreams that we shared.
You have it all,
Whilst I  have nothing,
and so please excuse me for resenting you.
It is personal.
You have everything that I want,
I have nothing,
And so,
Fuck You!

Euphoric Bliss…

I need you to know that I didn’t mean to hurt you,
Consumed with darkness and all things bad,
Overcome with fear,
I prayed for the bad to dissappear,
Instead it lingered,
And with trembling fingers,
I seeked help,
Only to be shunned and knocked back,
Feeling miserable and crap,
I felt that I had no choice,
Not only to listen,
But to act upon the many instructions that I regularly hear.
Believing them was not wise,
And with teary eyes,
I gave into to evil temptations through the night.
Not one,
Not two,
But so many tablets.
Not one,
Not two,
But so many strikes upon my wrists.
As my skin ripped,
The blood dripped,
And all things good and bad forgotten,
My insides rotten.
Glazed eyes,
I drifted into the mist,
Silence consumed my ears,
As I passed out,
And entered euphoric bliss.