A Diary From Noone

She spoke but no one heard, every scream seemed a whisper, and so she took pen to paper...

Category: words from beyond another ward (page 2 of 4)

Ain’t Ever Coming Back

Upsy Daisy,
Upside Down,
Whilst Life Is Spinning Round And Round,
Once Head Strong,
Old Head On Young Shoulders,
Instead Of Progression,
Dropped Down To Regression,
A Child Again.
Old Head,
Young Mind,
How It Happened I Cannot Describe,
But I Hope To Figure It All Out With You By My Side.
I Can’t Afford Nor Manage A Compromise.
Off Track.
Ran Off The Road.
Not Like You.
I Will Strive To Get On The Right Side.
Stop Standing Still,
Or Going Backwards,
And Find The Yellow Brick Road,
That Leads To The Gold And All Things Shiny And Nice.
God Forbid I Loose My Way Again.
Go Down The Wrong Path.
This Route Twice Over,
I Could Not Hack.
If I Find The Strength,
I Ain’t Ever Coming Back.

If you like me, like all of me…

You don’t have to run away,
You needn’t be scared,
I just appreciate honesty,
And I am leading by this example.
You may find it to heavy,
Inappropriate evan,
It is not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable.
I just hate lies,
I hate deceit,
I appreciate honesty.
I know that I do not owe it to you,
It is not compulsory,
Some may consider it private,
But I am not ashamed,
I am scared though,
And being open about everything,
Helps me accept my situation.
I cannot hide from it,
I will not shy from it,
And if you want to know me,
I will leave nothing out,
And so you can embrace me,
All of me.

Disconnected

So very clearly disconnected,
I have forgotten the feeling of being whole,
Having control.
Eye’s wide open,
And a restless mind,
Yet motionless and still,
Paralysis has set.
I cannot move,
Yet I desire comfort,
To feel rested and self assured.
Completely separate,
Friction sparks,
Against one another,
Sending mixed signals.
Complete overdrive,
Yet running on empty.
Unsure of both,
Unable to do one.
My body remains static,
As my head jumps and skips from thought to thought.
And so this turmoil,
As it seems,
Is now my life.

Uncomfortable With The Great Unknown…

We allow ourselves to get lost in endless scenarios of pointless mayhem.
We indulge in money, wealth and materialistic attributes.
We make continuous mistakes.
We revel in hate, misery and jealousy.
We forget about those less fortunate then us.
We graft,
We climb,
We build,
We conquer,
Forgetting about nature,
Forgetting about love,
We strive for something other.
No room for errors,
Chance or mistakes.
We forget that we don’t know as to why we came about.
We can study,
Ponder,
Wonder about our existence,
In constant persuit of answers as to why we are here.
Perhaps as to why is not important,
Less important then just accepting,
Just honouring this wondrous gift.
Allow and embrace the uncertainty.
We know not why we are here or how long for.
We cling to reason, religion, theories, conspiracy,
Uncomfortable with the unknown.
Ranking ourselves above all.
Forgetting that we are insignificant,
Forgetting that we do not have control.
That we cannot begin to explain what we do not know.
Amongst shooting stars,
Endless solar systems,
Miles and miles of space,
What will be,
Will be,
And so just forget about the other stuff,
And try to be happy.

Shallow Hal

“What would you prefer, a girl/guy with half a breast or half a brain?” (Modified for gender reasons)

Nightmares

The nightmares that pose as dreams,
That develop in the darkest corners of our minds,
The stories hidden beneath the dust and cobwebs,
Locked down in the basement of our shackled souls.
The toil and trouble such things cause when they escape and spread throughout our engines.
Mind cracked,
Troubles risen,
Paralysis prevails,
The release of devilish tales engulf our being.
Comatised,
We suffer,
Until we wake again,
And even then,
They loiter above us,
And we must carry the burden.

Like a fool….

I never went fishing you know,
I dipped my toes into the murky and ferocious sea,
But I wasn’t looking for you,
Not really.

You doused yourself in beauty and charm,
And quite the lothario you drew me in close to you,
Scooped me up and so that we could be together.

Like a fool,
I gave you my heart,
In fact I gave you everything,
All of me.

But once you had lured me in and seduced me,
Kept me captive as you’re prisoner,
Your desire changed.

Tantalised with the thrill of capture,
You withdrew,
Left me to wilt like a malnourished flower,
Weak, destitute and fading away.

Although the pangs of heartache protruded throughout all of me,
Hypnotised and mesmerised by your snake like charms,
Broken beyond repair,
I wished that you would stay,
But never have come.

I vow to be true…

I wish that I could see like you do,
You are forever sure,
confident,
You seem to understand the world perfectly.
I am interested and intrigued by your theories of life,
Those same theories that enable you to live as hapily as you do.
It’s not like I am content in a pool of sadness, unsurity and insecurity.
I aspire for better days.
I value all good things as you do.
Society and their taboo’s and hushed views may conspire against me,
But they will not hold me hostage.
I will endeavour to share my views and experiences as I develop and grow as a person.
I may remain the same, become like you or become someone entirely new.
I do vow to always be reall true.

Together Somehow

I am aware that I can get carried away,
I see the light in you.
Our individual circumstances are far from perfect,
But I see your imperfections in a positive light,
You could still be perfect for me.
Helping each other would therefore help ourselves.
Being together without any substance but water,
Could have been catastrophic.
Together somehow,
We came together.
I don’t know whether we want, need or have the strength to commit.
But I know that something is there and we got to ride it.
Together in a bubble of music,
A bubble of conversation,
And restrained penetration,
We fit.
And so lets hold on,
Enjoy the rush of the fast train,
And see where we end up.
No lies,
No fabrication,
Just truth and honesty,
Will lead us to our destiny.
Whether we still fit or go out separate ways,
Life with you now,
In the midst of ill health,
With you around,
I see better days to come.

Hope

Without hope what are we?
Without hope we are nothing.
Without hope, leaves us only with darkness.
Without hope, why bother at all.
Hope allows us to dream and achieve.
Hope allows us to live another day.
Hope helps clean the cobwebs away.
Hope is something that we have to learn.
Hope inspires us.
Hope allows us to turn nothing into greatness.
Hope can prove to be disappointing.
Hope can be misguiding.
Hope can be forgotten, but cannot get lost.
Hope is always there for you.
Hope is pure and true.
Hope.
Be hopeful.

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