Step Ladder Outa Hell…

I don’t believe that you are unwell,
You just keep putting yourself through some kind of hell,
Professing to be crazy,
When you are actually just lazy.
For absolutely no reason,
You’ve committed a self sabotage treason,
Putting your self in hell,
So you can just constantly dwell,
Taking it upon yourself you are just giving up,
Handed yourself over like an inanimat object,
An empty cup,
That they just continuously pour medication into,
To stop you from being you,
Because you claim to be ill.
I wish that you wasn’t so ignorant and so you could take away your pride,
And see the divide now between us,
You could have helped me,
You still can,
But you refuse to believe that I need it,
You refuse to accept what I have been diagnosed with,
And seem to think it all inside my head,
Although professionals themselves have said,
I do have have borderline personality disorder,
And it means my life is not in the same order,
I can no longer dream the same dreams,
At least for now,
Or accomplish the same things,
But I am still human!
More than anything I’m able to love and wish for love in return,
But my pain,
My suffering,
Has caused you pain,
I know,
And you suffering,
For this I am sorry,
That is why you are on auto pilot,
Which warrants your denial,
But you are no longer by my side,
I try to take it in my stride,
But it isn’t easy,
As I don’t want to make you feel any other way than love towards me,
But at the very least respect,
And belief.
I do not just make things up,
I am not just giving up,
Attention is not what I seek,
I want after healing.
I am unwell,
I don’t want to be,
If you could come to terms with this as well,
That will be my step ladder out of this hell!!!

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