We all make mistakes but such serious ones should be avoided…

For those of you keeping up, the floodgates have opened with great gusto! The dam has broken and the tears have recommenced. The drought was not long but appreciated all the same.
I just wanted to ask you (as someone who suffers from mental health) and/or (your carers, support, friends, family, help) not only keep a close eye on your mood, diet and day to day routine, also keep an eye on your medication. I have often been given to much, to little, double or nothing and been left to figure out what is right all by myself. Yes I am a thirty-one year old woman and I should be able to take full control and responsibility for what goes into my body but it isn’t that simple for me anymore. I get confused a lot. My memory is poor. I am lethargic most of the time. For those reasons, plus my impulsive, self destructive tendencies to harm myself and take over doses, I am only allowed a weeks instalment of medication at any one time. They bring it to my house and I follow the time table on my blister pack.
Lately I have been given a few new additions to my already heavily medicated care plan. If able and compos mentis enough, I know to always check what is what that they have given me, as the pharmacy often makes mistakes and deliver the wrong dose or completely miss something out. I can understand that these things happen accidentally and the incidents are few and far between but none the less, very dangerous. My medication enables me to get up, get out and try to live some sort of normal life. They are the fuel to my motor, the switch to my brain, the motivation to do anything but nothing.
As you know, home treatment team have been visiting me daily since my last incident. The nurse that came yesterday brought a concoction of about ten tablets when I was only supposed to receive two of one, three of another and nothing more. “PRN”, is a medical term for as and when required, rather then a regular prescription. They have been prescribing certain meds to get through my crisis and I can take one up to three times a day if required. All of my other medication is compulsory. I must take certain ones, at certain times throughout the day. I have medication for depression, for anxiety and anti-psychotics. It’s fair to say that I am rather heavily medicated in order to try and live a more comfortable life.
The doctor that came to see me on Tuesday prescribed an additional 50mg to the 700mg of anti-psychotics that I already take. I usually take it at night and he wants the adjustment to the dose to be consumed along with my morning and afternoon medication. Therefor I will be taking the anti psychotic throughout the day and night, rather then just at night. A nurse dropped off the additional medicine last night, along with extra of my already prescribed anti-anxiety meds! This is a classic example of when the help goes wrong. If I had consumed the extra tablets delivered, on top of the three that I would have already consumed that day, I may have had a mini and accidental overdose. This is a classic case of communication breakdown. Somewhere along the way the prescription was misinterpreted, and more then necessary was distributed. I am so glad that I recognised the blue pills that the nurse was going to leave with me. I asked if she could take them back because I don’t need any additional self destructive distractions. The problem is, someone out there may have not noticed and consumed the lot. If I was emotional, eratic or even suicidal at that point, I may have not been so sensible and cautious. Such mistakes can lead t fatal possibilities, which is really sad because when you engage with the help, it suggests that you really do want to get better and in this particular case, it could have been the help that hurt or killed me!

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