Ride the waves

I am trying my best.
I am trying to do all that you advised.
I take my medication.
I immerse my self within the community.
I attend therapy.
I exercise.
I try to channel my problems through creativity.
I try to ignore psychosis with distraction techniques.
I try not to harm myself.
I have tried with old friends.
I am making new friends.
I try to be assertive.
Yet I am exhausted.
None of the above works permenantly.
I am on the worlds worst roller coaster.
My sleep is eratic.
My mood swings up and down, then super up, then way, way down.
I laugh at nothing.
I cry at something.
I can’t breath.
I hear you.
I try to ignore you.
My heart hurts.
My chest feels compressed.
I feel alone.
Super happy followed by super unhappy.
I begin to cry and I ask myself why.
Exhausted and worn out from these eratic mood swings.
But who should I tell.
The professionals only tell me what I have mostly heard before.
Friends and family mostly try but do not understsnd.
How could you understand something so complex with out experiencing something first hand,  or studying.
I never brought a ticket.
I did not volunteer for this ride.
I just want off.
You don’t always get what you want!
So I guess I am just left…
Riding The Wave

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